At some point in our lives, I guess we always have had someone tell us to be more positive and forgiving. Some people will tell you that all the time, in a very condescending way of informing us that they are, at some level, in a spiritual “higher” place, patronizing us.
Obviously, we all know that a positive attitude always brings the best of us and others.
However, there are moments when we have conflicting emotions. We are human beings, with a wide range of an emotional spectrum. We get upset, we have peaceful moments, we get angry, we get hurt, we care, we don’t care. We are allowed to feel every emotion, without having someone telling us to stay positive and be forgiving.
For me, this is the true definitions of a friend: someone who listens to you, understands you, in whatever emotional state you are in: angry, sad, upset, peaceful, caring or indifferent.
A true friend is never condescending!
A true friend doesn’t tell you over and over to stay positive and forgiveness is the way. And why is that?
Because a true friend knows you; knows how you manage your emotions, knows and respects you well enough not to be patronizing.
A true friend knows your abilities, appreciates what you do and makes sure you know it!
A true friend knows that, many times, we don’t need to be “advised” on the positive aspects of forgiveness.
A true friend just listens, without any kind of judgement.
A true friend shares and never lies to you about anything, whatsoever!
A true friend always tell you their own truth, face to face, without any fear of hurting you!
Yes, we can get hurt by listening to truthfulness.
What hurts the most is to realize that someone who you considered a friend for many years, actually wasn’t your friend at all; disrespected you and your feelings and keeps a distance, avoiding a face to face sollution, should any problem arise.
People that act like this, people that run away from you and avoid any emotional situation, these people have what is called in basic Psychology passive/aggressive personalities.
They seem quite peaceful, always in control and always have that “too nice” attitude, as if there is nothing in this world or any other world that can make them angry. Oh no, to be angry is not acceptable for a passive/aggressive.
They will run away like crazy from any situation that may seem confrontational, which is their emotional comfort and coward zone and obviously selfish too.
Anger, for my personality, is the surface emotion for being hurt. That’s my first reaction when I feel hurt. I get extremely angry.
Then, I find “my way home”, at my own pace, until I reach that point when I go deep and find the hurt inside, deal with it and finally, with time, everything is forgiven, simply because it’s completely forgotten.
In the end, forgiveness cannot be forced, shouldn’t be forced. It’s actually very easy to say “forgiveness is the way”; we look nice saying that, don’t we? It’s so absolutely condescending!
But the best is when we really feel it’s not really forgiven. It’s really forgotten. Only complete oblivion shows true forgiveness. We can only forgive what we forget, that’s the moment when we know that whatever was bothering us, is gone. We just let it go.
And this doesn’t come with any advice from others. It comes with a process within us, it may take more or less time, depending on us, on our life experience and our willingness to evolve as human beings.
It’s just unfortunate when you know somebody – or you think you know – for years and that person who you once called a friend, actually doesn’t fulfill some of the above and fullfills others.
Somebody you thought was your friend doesn’t share any of their inner self with you.
And finally you see that what you had was just a perception, not reality but your perception of it.
This shows how positive I really am, how I can blindly trust someone; how loyal I can be.
Until I can no longer trust.
Until that veil raises from my perceptive eyes and I finally see reality as it is.
Someone I considered a friend actually is not and never has been, according to my standards.
I was sad, at first. I have to ackowledge I defrauded myself; I did it all. I simply didn’t protect myself, shared my most intimate feelings with someone I considered a friend; someone who didn’t have the courage to trust me with the same dedication I gave her and didn’t share her most intimate feelings, just like I had done with her.
To be able to actually write about it makes me see it even clearer.
Just like love, true friendsipis a two-way road. It simply doesn’t work if it goes in one direction only.
I see that now, so clearly.
And after sharing all this with you, this is the emotional place where I am now: sad, extremely disappointed ( at myself) for making the same mistake over and over: trusting people and not protect my own feelings.
It’s never nice to realize that a person we thought was a friend, was nothing more than an acquaintance.
And now, because I love Astrology, let me jump on board of Berry’s Zodiac Meme *smiles*
1. What is your birthday and/or Zodiac sign?
My birthdate is September 8th, so my solar sign is Virgo.
2. Do you believe in or follow astrology?
I don’t believe in Astrology, because it’s not a religion, it’s not something to “believe in” *smiles* even though we find several definitions of Astrology being a “system of beliefs”, it’s not.
Astrology – the analysis of the position of planets in the sky in the exact time of our birth – is based on Astronomy and that is scientific. It’s also scientific and proven that the simple position of the moon affects tides, so it’s only logical that some planets’ position by the time we are born, may affect our personalities as a whole.
3. Do you feel your sign’s attributes reflect who you are?
Some do, yes. However, for those of us who love Astrology, we need to be well informed about it; we need to know our solar sign – like I said , mine is Virgo -, our ascendant sign at the exact hour of our birth – my ascendant is Sagittarius – and what are the effects that the rest of the planets’ position may have, when we were born. “May” is the right word here, I’ll explain.
4. Have you ever been to a psychic or astrologer either in RL or in SL (are there any in SL?)
Yes I have, in RL. I have talked to several professional Astrologers and had my birth chart made. If you are lucky to find a very good professional Astrologer, he or she will tell you that the features of your solar sign aren’t the definition of who you are. Other planets’s positons give you a wide range of possibilities and features as well. Astrology doesn’t tell you who you are, it will tell you – if done properly – your strongest points, your weeknesses and your potential. All these can take place or not. The best Astrologers will tell you that you have free will, ultimately, no matter what your birth chart says, the choices you make belong to you and you only. Don’t blame it on your sign *smiles*
5. Do you read your horoscope daily and try to follow any advice, recommendations or warnings it may have for you that day?
No, never. For me it’s a great disrespect for this thousand year system of reading the universe and us. Usually, a daily horoscope in a magazine or a newspaper is written by anybody in their staff, not necessarily by a professional Astrologer. They just take the writter that is kinda handy at the moment *laughs* which makes reading a daily horoscope a fun thing to do, knowing that the person who wrote is really having a good time too *smiles*
6. Do you have very strong feelings about astrology, either negative or positive?
I do, yes, positive in my case. I accept people talking about their solar signs, it’s fun and a great icebreaker in a conversation. I do that too. If I take Astrology seriously (which I do), especially recent Psychologists and Therapists working with Astrology as a tool in their jobs, well, that won’t come up in a regular chat about astrological signs *smiles* not for me, no. That is the part of Astrology that only a few really understand, because in the end, it’s not about our solar signs; Astrology is being used (finally!) in Psychology and Psychotherapy as a powerful tool for the person to have a more clear insight into their own selves – not exactly by looking at our signs, it’s much deeper than that. But, like I said, in a regular day-to-day basis, it’s fun to talk about our signs, what we think they mean and it’s such a great icebreaker!
| Tattoo: The INKWELL Apocalyptica Biomech Lip by emanuelle Courtois
In the middle of the night, when the angels scream,
I don’t want to live a lie that I believe.
Time to do or die.
Funny how some weeks ago, while meditating, I asked for clarity and I got it!
The truth has come out! I soo love my mind *smiles*